Home
NEW TODAY
SCRIPT DEADLINES
TODAY'S POLL
WATCH FREE FILMS
MOVIE VIDEOS
ARTIST PROFILES
Movies by Year
Movies by Director
Movies by Actor
Movies by Actress
Movies by Alphabet
MOVIE CHARACTERS
MOVIE FRANCHISES
2012 MOVIES
2012 MOVIE LIST
2011 MOVIES
Book of Possibilities
The Writer's Way
Film making TIPS
Sex Articles
Best of SEXY
KISSING scenes
ROMANTIC scenes
SMOKING scenes
TEEN Movies
ACTION movies
HORROR movies
FAMILY movies
Box Office Results
TOP 100 STAR WARS
STEVEN SPIELBERG
THE AVENGERS
DARK KNIGHT RISES

Subscribe To This Site
XML RSS
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines
 

CONAN THE BARBARIAN, 2011
Movie Reviews!

Search 1,000 of MOVIES
SCREENPLAY CONTESTSUBMIT your SCREENPLAY
Voted #1 screenplay contest in the world!
NEW MOVIE REVIEWSNEW MOVIE REVIEWS
Read Today's POSTED REVIEWS
TOP 100TOP 100 LISTS WEBSITE
Best of photos, movies, sex and everything else!
2011 MOVIES2011 MOVIES
See all of 2011 films!
CLICK and WATCH MOVIES ONLINE!

CLICK HERE and WATCH Today's FREE MOVIES!

CONAN THE BARBARIAN, 2011 MOVIECONAN THE BARBARIAN, 2011
Movie Reviews

Director: Marcus Nispel

Starring: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang, Saïd Taghmaoui

Review by

WATCH MOVIE TRAILER

SYNOPSIS:

Muscle-bound warrior Conan the Cimmerian (Momoa) seeks to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village. The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

REVIEW:

It's pretty much like getting a straight shot of testosterone. In fact, just standing near one of the posters for Marcus Nispel's "Conan the Barbarian" will put hair on your chest regardless of age or gender.

Since it's been so long since an honest to god Conan movie was in theaters and reboot fever is filling the, that's what Nispel is going to serve, starting off with Conan's (Jason Momoa) earliest days as he is literally born on a battlefield during an impromptu c-section. From there it because quickly apparent he was born to fight and kill, which means anyone stupid enough to attack and kill his entire village better kill him too or they're in trouble.

Of course if they did then there wouldn't be much of "Conan" movie. A cynic might say we're not getting much of a Conan movie anyway, but that depends very much on what you want out of it. The soulfulness and introspection John Milius attempted to inject in his adaptation is right out.

In its place we get several decades worth of advancements in gore effects which Nispel unleashes with gleeful abandon. It's not too far of a stretch to say that by far the greatest amount of creativity has been spent on various methods of dismembering, disemboweling or otherwise diss-ing Conan's various adversaries than any other part of the film.

It also, as we've come to expect from Nispel's films, looks excellent. The design work and Bulgarian locations show of the world of Robert E. Howard's most famous creation to its best effect, from pirate ships to mountain fortresses. And he's filled Rhodes vistas with some truly bone crunching action to do Conan proud. Combined with a dark sense of humor and new "Conan" is frequently more entertaining than it should be.

That's about where the good ends, though. In unfortunate keeping with the tradition of the other film and TV adaptations the film is badly cast and none more so than Conan himself. Momoa doesn't seem capable of delivering his lines any way but to yell them at full force, often with teeth gritted. Most of the rest of the male cast, who are if we're honest, brought in more for their physical attributes than anything else, with only Ron Perelman as Conan's father offering anything in the way of actual acting.

Rachel Nichols is likewise badly miscast in a role that takes advantage of none of her actual skills and instead forces horrible fantasy-speak into her mouth as an excuse to put her in the scenery.

The villains come off slightly better—not unusual in action films where the villains are almost more colorful—with Rose McGowan putting on her best vamp act. Stephen Lang does his normal scenery chewing but he tends to get let down as the film goes along through a mixture of bad plot and horrible design work. He spends the last act wearing an octopus on his head like a turban and it's hard to notice much else when he's around.

Ultimately, for all its grinning and gurning, "Conan the Barbarian" is an unremarkable piece of fantasy adventure filmmaking. It is completely uninterested in advancing the style of these sorts of things in any way. Nispel would much rather spend his time thinking up as many manly exploits as he can to fill his brief running time. If that's the sort of thing you like "Conan" is right up your alley, but it doesn't offer much to anyone else.

WATCH today's TOP SHORT FILMS
EXPLORE and WATCH the TOP PAGES on THE NET!!
wildcardWATCH the best of WILDCARD PICTURES! wildcardWATCH the best of SHORT FILMS on the NET!
 MOVIES by ALPHABET

See over 10,000 plus films!
 MOVIES by DIRECTOR

See over 500 plus film makers!
 MOVIES by ACTOR

See over 1,000 plus male actors!
 MOVIES by ACTRESS

See over 1,000 plus female actors!
wildcardWATCH - Best of PICTURE VIDEOS! wildcardWATCH and LISTEN - LAST RITE AUDIO BOOK!
2011 moviesTHE BOOB SHOW
Net's TOP TV show!
wildcardWATCH - Best of ET Radio PODCASTS!
TOP 100 MOVIESTOP 100 MOVIE PAGES
WATCH and SEE the best of film!
TOP 100 SEXTOP 100 SEX PAGES
WATCH and SEE the best of sex pages online!
WATCH MOVIESWATCH Today's MOVIES
Best of NEW films on the NET!
TOP 100 MOVIESTOP 100 MOVIES of ALL-TIME
See the best of film!
DIRECTORTOP 100 DIRECTORS of ALL-TIME
SEE THE LIST. Reviews, Photos and Scenes!
SCREENPLAY CONTESTSUBMIT your SCRIPTS
Voted #1 screenplay contest in the world!
wildcardWATCH - Best of IMAGINARY WORKS Videos!TOP 100 MOVIE QUOTESTOP 100 MOVIE QUOTES
SEE the best of film lines in movie history!
wildcardWATCH - Best of DISTRIBUTED SHORT FILMS! TOP 100 BLACK MOVIE ROLESTOP 100 BLACK MOVIE ROLES
SEE the LIST and watch scenes!
MOVIE trailersMOVIE TRAILERS
See trailers of all the upcoming films!
TOP 100 FUNNYTOP 100 FUNNY VIDEOS of all-time
GREATEST SEX SCENE (2010 LIST)TOP 100 GREATEST SEX SCENES TOP 100 SEX SCENES(2011 LIST) TOP 100 SEX SCENES of all time!
2011 movies2011 MOVIES
WATCH and SEE!
NEW MOVIE REVIEWSNEW MOVIE REVIEWS
Read Today's POSTED REVIEWS
ACTRESSTOP 100 ACTRESSES of all-time
SEE THE LIST
ACTorTOP 100 ACTORS of all-time
SEE THE LIST.
TOP 100 TV SEX SCENESTOP 100 TV SEX SCENES
WATCH the best in television history!
MOVIE VILLAINSTOP 100 MOVIE VILLAINS
SEE the LIST and watch their best scenes!

TOP 100TOP 100 MOVIES LISTS
See the best of movies from anything and everything!
NEW MOVIE REVIEWSNEW MOVIE REVIEWS
Read Today's POSTED REVIEWS
SCREENPLAY CONTESTSUBMIT your SCRIPT
Voted #1 screenplay contest in the world! with FULL FEEDBACK
2011 MOVIES2011 MOVIES
See all of 2011 films!
CLICK and WATCH MOVIES ONLINE!


CONAN THE BARBARIAN